From last-minute panic speeches to officiating weddings, here’s how I stumbled into being that person with the mic.
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
So, have you ever been thrown into a situation you didn’t sign up for and somehow crushed it? That’s me, with wedding speeches. From last-minute panic attacks to spending two days drafting the “perfect words” for people I couldn’t say no to, it’s been a wild ride.
Let me walk you through my greatest hits (and near-misses): the time my uncle ambushed me three hours before his wedding, when my best friend Saki confirmed on-site after I nearly died traveling to his wedding, and the moments I willingly (??) spent days agonizing over speeches for my nonbiological sister Natasha and my foreign primo Safet. Oh, and did I mention I’m also an officiant? Yeah, this wasn’t in my five-year plan.
My Big Debut: Efren and Mayra’s Wedding, 2011
Picture this: It’s 2011, I’m enjoying some pre-wedding vibes, and BAM—my uncle Efren decides that I’m the chosen one. “Hey, can you give a speech?” he asks, casually, three hours before the wedding. THREE HOURS.
So there I am, barely out of my teens, frantically jotting down whatever nonsense I can string together while people are busy curling hair and arguing over who forgot to pick up the boutonnieres. My palms were sweaty, my voice was shaky, and my brain was screaming, “How did I get here?!”
But here’s the thing—I killed it. I stumbled, maybe threw in a weird joke or two, but everyone laughed (probably out of pity) and clapped like I was the next Oprah. Moral of the story? Sometimes you just need to fake it until people think you planned it.
Travel Trauma & Saki’s Wedding, 2022
Fast forward to February 2022. My hermano de la vida and best friend, Saki, casually joked a few weeks before his wedding, “You should totally give a speech.” I laughed it off, thinking it was a joke. Spoiler: it wasn’t.
Now, add some spice to this chaos—24 hours of hell at Bogotá Airport, multiple delayed flights, and the emotional damage of me thinking I’d miss his wedding altogether. I finally arrive, dragging my jet-lagged, slightly feral self into the venue, and Saki greets me with, “So, you’re giving the speech, right?” Excuse me??
Somehow, I pulled myself together, channeled the last reserves of adrenaline, and delivered a speech straight from the heart (or maybe just from exhaustion). It wasn’t perfect, but I had everyone crying, laughing, and probably wondering if I was okay. Honestly, I still don’t know.
Drafting Drama: Natasha & Safet’s Weddings, 2023
Now, let’s talk about the weddings where I wasn’t ambushed (progress, right?) but instead willingly tortured myself. When Natasha—my nonbiological sister—and my foreign primo Safet both asked me to speak at their weddings, I said yes without realizing how much work I was signing up for.
For Natasha, I spent two full days writing a speech that captured years of inside jokes, secrets, and the fact that we’d basically adopted each other into each other’s lives. I wanted every word to reflect the kind of love and loyalty that’s impossible to put into words (but, you know, I had to try).
Then came Safet, my primo from across the world. His wedding speech took me just as long to write because I wanted to honor his big heart and the way he always brought people together, no matter the distance. It was equal parts heartfelt and humorous—because let’s be honest, he wouldn’t have expected anything less.
Both speeches were home runs, if I do say so myself. People cried, laughed, and maybe reconsidered hiring me for professional gigs. (Or therapy—who knows?)
Here’s the kicker: Natasha and Safet didn’t just stop at speeches. Oh no, they asked me to officiate their wedding. I was no longer just a guest with a microphone—I was the person responsible for making their marriage legit.
Talk about pressure. I spent weeks writing a ceremony that reflected their unique love story, complete with humor, heartfelt moments, and enough flair to keep the audience entertained. Standing there as they said their vows and looking out at the people who loved them most, I realized this was next-level magic. Sure, my legs were shaking, but hey, who’s paying attention to that?
Lessons From the Mic
Here’s what I’ve learned: Wedding speeches aren’t about perfection. They’re about showing up, doing your best, and pretending you’re fine when you’re absolutely not. From three-hour warnings to chaotic airports and emotional overthinking, I’ve survived it all.
Would I do it again? Obviously. Because when you love people, you put on the dress, grab the mic, and fake it like a champ.
Also, I’m available for hire—whether you need someone to officiate your wedding, give a heartfelt speech, or, better yet, steal the spotlight with my utterly rhythmless dance moves. Trust me, your guests will never forget it😉
Thank youu for reading me
Génesis 😽❣️
