My therapist threw two prompts my way this week, and they hit a little too close to home. You know, the kind that makes you pause mid-session and think, “Oh no, we’re really going there, aren’t we?”
Prompt 1: Your character reaches a tough crossroads and needs to come to a decision.
Okay, not too bad—until I realized my character is basically me, standing at a literal and metaphorical crossroads between two places that mean everything: Puerto Rico and Chicago.
The Crossroads
The decision between Puerto Rico and Chicago has been looming over me for a while now. Both places hold pieces of my heart, my identity, my history. In Puerto Rico, there’s family, lifelong friends, and the warmth of my grandfather’s wisdom. It’s home in every sense of the word, yet there’s this underlying fear—what if I go back and get stuck? Stuck in the ay bendito culture, the kind that sometimes feels like a slow wave of “just be grateful for what you have,” even when I know there’s more I want to chase.
But then there’s Chicago—the city where I have security. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s a place where I can breathe, where I’m anonymous enough to build, to grow without the pressure of everyone knowing who I am. The infrastructure works, and I wouldn’t have to worry about power outages or losing touch with the modern world. Yet, it comes with its own kind of loneliness. I’m a social butterfly, and here I’m missing my people—the ones who make me feel grounded, known. My closest friends, the ones who’ve been with me since day one, are still back on the island. I’d have my mom, my uncle, my aunt, and a few family friends who’ve practically become family, but it’s not the same.
So here I am, standing at the crossroads, with my heart being pulled in two directions. Puerto Rico, where comfort lives but maybe stagnation, too? Or Chicago, where I could thrive but risk feeling disconnected from the people who matter most?
Prompt 2: Write about a time you recognized resistance and reflect on the outcome you experienced.
Oof. Now this one digs deep. Resistance? Yeah, I’ve had plenty of that. Especially when it came to the decision between Puerto Rico and Chicago. But instead of making the decision myself, life kinda…made it for me.
Resistance and Outcomes
A few years ago, I was at a different kind of crossroads—deciding whether to stay in Puerto Rico or come back to Chicago full-time. The resistance was real. It wasn’t just about logistics; it was about the pull between comfort and growth, between the familiar and the unknown.
Staying in Puerto Rico would have meant embracing a sense of safety and the continuity of tradition, but it also felt like a risk—of losing myself or becoming too comfortable. Meanwhile, Chicago promised anonymity and a chance to start fresh, but I knew it came with a kind of loneliness, a distance from the people and warmth that have shaped me.
In the end, I didn’t make a bold decision. Life made it for me. Circumstances—the pull of new opportunities, the state of the island—pushed me in one direction. And maybe the hardest part was realizing that sometimes, the biggest decision isn’t a choice we make on our own. Sometimes, life sweeps us into the current.
And the outcome? I’m still figuring it out. Some days, I miss Puerto Rico—the sun, the laughter of my friends, the familiarity of people who’ve known me my whole life. Other days, I feel at ease in Chicago, where things work and where I can move without feeling the weight of expectations. But maybe it’s not about choosing one over the other; it’s about finding peace in the in-between, even when it feels like I’m constantly reaching.
For now, I guess I’ll have to settle for the comfort—and yes, the loneliness—that Chicago brings. The road ahead is still unfolding, and I’m learning to embrace the unknown, the resistance, and whatever outcome comes next.
So, what did these prompts teach me?
Life is full of crossroads and resistance. And while we all want to be the ones in control, making the tough decisions, sometimes we don’t get to be the hero of our own story. But maybe that’s okay. The journey is still unfolding, and whether it’s Puerto Rico or Chicago—or somewhere in between—I’m learning to embrace the unknown, the resistance, and whatever outcome comes next.
