No, cilantro doesn’t complete me. And yes, I’ll take pasta over your soap-flavored nonsense any day.
Let’s get one thing straight: cilantro is my enemy. People talk about it like it’s the Holy Grail of flavor, but to me, it tastes like someone juiced a bar of soap and threw it in my food as a cruel joke. Yet, whenever I share this very valid opinion, there’s always that one person—“But you’re Latina!” Yes, I’m Latina. Yes, I grew up around cilantro-infested dishes. And yes, I’d rather eat pasta all’amatriciana any day of the week than force myself to chew on some arroz con habichuelas and bistec just to satisfy your cultural expectations.
Let’s be clear: cilantro isn’t just a bad flavor—it’s a betrayal. It’s that herb that shows up to the party uninvited, takes over, and makes you regret ever biting into that taco. And then comes the parade of cilantro stans, waving their stupid green flag with pride, acting like cilantro is the Michelangelo of herbs. Spoiler: it’s not.
And can we talk about the stupid faces people make when I say I hate cilantro? The shocked, wide-eyed gasp, as if I just said I kick puppies for fun. Like, yes Karen, I get it—you think cilantro is the missing ingredient in world peace. But I, on the other hand, feel like it’s the green-haired villain in my culinary nightmare.
And those comments. “But how can you hate cilantro? You’re Latina!” Oh, I’m sorry. Did my heritage come with a mandatory cilantro-loving clause in fine print? Did I miss that at my quinceañera? Like, sorry, I guess my taste buds didn’t get the memo.
Let’s just settle this once and for all: being Boricua doesn’t mean I have to worship at the altar of cilantro. I can hate it with the fire of a thousand suns 🌞 and still proudly eat my arroz con frijoles (without that green menace). And honestly? I’ll take a pasta any day over anything with cilantro sprinkled on top like it’s the savior of all flavor.
So here’s to you, cilantro lovers—keep your soap herb to yourselves. I’ll be over here, enjoying my amatriciana with zero regrets.
Ciaaao,
Génesis 🔥☺️
